Forms

Age:28
Likes:His Harem, Soda,Pizza,Ice Cream, YouTube, hanging out your sister Verosika
Dislikes: Blitzo spying on you, get Annoyed,Long Speeches,
Personality:Nice,Calm,Evil,Pervy, Flirty, Immortality
Theme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c436AdCv_3I

Blitzo

Moxxie

Millie

Ms.Mayberry

Octavia

Striker

Charlie

Vaggie

Alastra

Angel

Lady Pentious

Cherri

Mimzy

Valentino

Vox

Killjoy

Arackniss

Molly

Velvet

2

[The scene opens with a city shot that slowly zooms in on the Immediate Murder Professionals building. Cars honking can be heard in the background. The scene transitions to a closed door, with a sign that says "Meeting in progress". Inside, Blitzo is walking by a whiteboard on the wall as she lectures his employees.]

Blitzo: Alright, now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... [looks at Moxxie] Moxxie. [Moxxie gives her a "What the hell?" look.] Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Millie: What about a car wash?

Y/N:This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay? Ooh, what about a billboard?

Moxxie: We can't afford a billboard,Y/N

Blitzo: Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. [pushes Moxxie away] Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

[Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in his mouth, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Loona, Millie,Y/N, and Blitzo eating popcorn.]

Blitzo: Ahh, those were the good times.

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, Madam,considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches.

Blitzo: Uh, hey, excuse me. What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, all right? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, Madam

Blitzo: Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical. Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?

Moxxie: Mam--

Blitzo: 'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

Y/N: Are you tryin' to crush her dreams, Moxxie?

Moxxie: I-- What?

Y/N: I thought I knew you.

Blitzo: I can't believe you, Moxxie, [holds up an employee of the month plaque with Moxxie's picture on it] after I made you employee of the month!

Moxxie: Okay, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles!

Millie: I liked it.

Moxxie: Do not-- [points at Millie] Do not agree with her in front of me!

[The scene cuts to the I.M.P. commercial.]

Blitzo: Hi, there! I'm Blitzo! The "O" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.! [gestures to the logo as it appears on screen, then disappears.]

[A picture of Blitzo wearing two top hats through her horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, while standing outside of a burning building with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears.]

Blitzo: Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell, [picture changes to one of Blitzo wearing an angel costume at a coffeehouse happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a trash can, instead of the recycling bin right next to it] or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!

[The commercial cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitzo holds a cardboard sign in frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!!"]

Demon Guy: After lovingly killing my wife for [in demonic voice] FUCKING A DELIVERYMAN, [normal voice] you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me! I really wish I could STICK IT to that [in demonic voice] YAPPY JOGGER [normal voice] who saw me hiding the body!

[Blitzo is speaking to camera and holding a grimoire, while Moxxie and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a square.]

Blitzo: [to camera] Well, luckily for you, thanks to our company's special access to the living world, [her eyes narrow as ahe does a magical gesture with his left hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Moxxie and Millie are blown out of shot.She walks up to the portal.] we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive! [falls backwards into the portal]

[The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle plays in the background.]

Singer: ♫ When you want somebody gone, ♫

[A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up.]

Singer: ♫ and you don't want to wait too long ♫

[Moxxie, Blitzo, and Millie are shown in a circle logo. Blitzo holds her arms out as Moxxie holds up her rifle and Millie holds up her spear. A letter "I" appears to the left of them, while a letter "P" appears on the right of them. The trio together form a letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P.]

Singer: ♫ call the Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

[Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are inside of their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The trio cover where their ears would be as an explosion goes off. A severed arm goes flying.]

Singer: ♫ Hand grenade or cyanide, ♫

[Blitzo is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note.]

Singer: ♫ We'll make it look like suicide ♫

[Blitzo is shown electrocuting someone, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, and Moxxie is shown strangling someone.]

Singer: ♫ The Immediate Murder Professionals ♫

[The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitzo creating a portal to the living world in a wall, then jumping through it. She is followed by Millie and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal.]

Singer: ♫ We do our job so well, ♫

[The trio come up through the other end of the portal and adjust themselves.]

Singer: ♫ because we come straight up from Hell! ♫

[The I.M.P. trio suddenly look shocked as it appears they have accidentally teleported to a church in the middle of a service. A female preacher and the congregation look back at the demons in confusion and/or fear. One bearded man, however, has his head laid back as he sleeps with earbuds in.]

[Millie is shown struggling to remove a knife from a naked couple who are in 69 position, while Moxxie tries to look away, and Blitzo examines a pair of panties.]

Singer: ♫ We'll kill your husband or your wife ♫

[Blitzo stabs someone toed to a chair repeatedly in the head while sporting a goofy expression.]

Singer: ♫ We'll even let you keep the knife ♫

[A quick sequence then shows the trio assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark, burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone, and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the trio are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman from behind.]

Singer: ♫ We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... Profession-- ♫

[Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone.]

Eddie: AUUUGH!

[The boy collapses as Moxxie looks on in shock. The scene cuts to a hospital operating room. The boy is wheeled in on a hospital bed by a doctor, a pink-haired nurse, and a blue-haired nurse.]

Pink-haired Nurse: [in masculine voice] Doctor, he's not responding!

Blue-haired Nurse: Cool water, stat!

[The Pink-haired Nurse whacks the boy in the face with a bucket of water.]

Blue-haired Nurse: It didn't do anything!

Doctor: Dammit! I'm not losing another one.

[Everyone has their defibrillator paddles over the boy.]

Doctor: CLEAR!

[They all zap the kid and he wakes up.]

Eddie: [gasps]

Doctor: Holy shit, it actually worked.

[Blitzo, Millie, and Moxxie are waiting outside the boy's hospital room. Blitzo is reading a magazine, while Millie comforts Moxxie, who looks devastated. The doctor comes out of the room with a clipboard.]

Doctor: He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery. Now what insurance provider do you freaks have?

Blitzo: The fuck is insurance?

[A shot of the outside of the hospital is shown, as a window breaks and the boy's hospital bed flies out. The boy is unconscious in the bed, while Millie, Moxxie, and Blitzo are holding on for dear life as they plummet screaming to the ground. The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitzo's foot. Blitzo slams his face into the bed, the rope snaps, and they all continue to fall.]

[A still shot of the I.M.P. logo is shown.]

Singer: ♫ Kids die for freeeeeee!♫

[The scene cuts back to the boardroom. Millie and Moxxie are sitting across from Loona, who has his feet up and is watching a video on his phone of Moxxie getting hurt.]

Moxxie: I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple.

Loona: Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie.

Moxxie: YOU sit! Sit on... a... and the... d-- DO YOUR JOB!!

Blitzo: Hey, now, we don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay?! [hugs and nuzzles Loona, who appears to strongly dislike his affection] he didn't do anything wrooooong~

Moxxie: Are you kidding me, sir? he's awful!

[The scene cuts to a flashback of Loona at her desk, reading a magazine called "Hellhound Monthly". His desk phone rings with the sound of a cute puppy barking as the ringtone. Loona answers.]

Loona: Hello, I.M.P.

Millie: [On phone] Loona, I got stabbed! Call Mox--

[Loona suddenly hangs up, disinterested in the conversation. Next, Loona is in Blitzo's office as she presents him with a gift.]

Blitzo: Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! I got you a little somethin'.

Loona: Is it a cure for syphilis?

Blitzo: I... Oh...

Loona: [snatches the present and throws it on the floor] THEN I DON'T WANT IT!!

[A swarm of spiders suddenly emerge from the present box and cover Loona up to his neck.]

Loona: UGHHH!!

Blitzo: [suddenly hiding outside of the office window] I'm sorry! It was spiders!

Loona: [annoyed] Goddammit.

[Loona is then shown at his desk, watching an online video of Charlie Magne performing "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow". Moxxie approaches him with a flyer for "Chub B Gone".]

Moxxie: Um, e- excuse me. Did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?

Loona: No.

Moxxie: Wha-- Why- Why would anyone send me this?

Loona: C'mon... You know why.

[The next scene shows Loona rummaging through the break room fridge.]

Loona: Whoever left the fucking... avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now!

[Loona turns around to face Millie with a red box in hand as she shuts the fridge door with his foot. he rips off the lid and drinks the salad, which for some reason is in liquid form.]

Millie: Why would you drink on a work night?

Loona: [stops drinking] I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!

[Moxxie enters the room and notices Loona with her box.]

Moxxie: Isn't that my lunch?

Loona: [drops the box on the floor] Y'know what?! I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some [kicks the box at Moxxie, knocking him out of the room] fucking steam!

[Loona runs out of the break room and out into the street.]

Loona: AAAAAAAAAAH!

[Loona runs up to a demon lady passing by, pushing her baby in a stroller. He kicks the stroller high into the air and storms off, while the demon lady stands there in disbelief. The scene transitions to Loona at his desk, telling Blitzo about a caller.]

Loona: Bliiiitzo, that clingy, rich asshole is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! Sounds a little DTF-y.

Blitzo: [throws her cup of water on the floor] Oh, GOD, it was ONE TIME! [crosses arms] If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world.

Moxxie: [stares in stunned silence] ...You what?

[The scene cuts to a flashback of Stolas sleeping naked in bed. He is hooting like an owl and there are feathers everywhere. Blitzo, who is partially nude, walks away quietly with the grimoire in hand.]

Blitzo: [to herself] Got the booook, got the booook! Got this fuckin' heavy book!

[Blitzo reaches Stolas' balcony and lays the grimoire on the ledge. Grunting, he attempts to step up on the ledge using the grimoire. Instead, the combined weight sends both him and the grimoire falling forward off of the balcony.]

Blitzo: Oh- Oh, SHIT!

[Blitzo lands in a cake that Stolas' wife Stella and her friends are having, splattering pieces of it all over them.]

Blitzo: [to Stella] Sorry, I fucked your husband.

[The scene changes back to Loona at his desk.]

Loona: BLIIIITZO!

Blitzo: I HEARD YOU ALREA--!

[The scene cuts to Blitzo in her office, talking with Stolas, and playing with a bobblehead of Moxxie.]

Blitzo: Soooo, what can I do you for this time, Stolas?

[Stolas is shown talking on his phone from a fancy mansion.]

Stolas: There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists!

Blitzo: Doesn't it?

Stolas: Well, yes, but more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here~

Blitzo: Okay, well, yeah, that makes sense.

Stolas: [through phone] You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy?

Blitzo: [pulls her phone away and talks to himself] Oh, god-fuckin'-damnit.

Stolas: When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red **** of yours... **** your ***** and lick all of your *****, before taking out your *****, and **** with more teeth until you're screaming ********** like a FUCKING baby--!

[Blitzo, who's visibly disturbed, hangs up. she breaks her cellphone in half, smashes it with her desk phone, tosses said desk phone away, pulls out a blender, puts the cellphone pieces in it, and blends them. Blitzo turns and hands the blender to Loona, who was standing nearby.]

Blitzo: Eat this!

[Loona drinks the blended cellphone mixture.]

Blitzo: And then y'know that bridge over the freeway?

Loona: Yeah?

Blitzo: Shit off it!

[The flashback ends, and Blitzo is standing by Loona.]

Blitzo: Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family.

[Loona looks up from his phone and smiles, touched by Blitzo's words.]

Moxxie: We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! he's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!

[As Moxxie rants, Loona continues looking at his phone, slowly flipping Moxxie off.]

Blitzo: That is offensive! Without homeless people, [walks over to window and raises blinds] I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!

[Blitzo puts her face up against the window, cracking it, and sees a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that reads "Monee helps. Satan bless." A female demon is on her cellphone and ignores the hobo. Blitzo smugly waves at him, before lowering the window blinds.]

Blitzo: You a baby-wiener-haver?

Moxxie: Madam, what you say and how you act is totally [stands up from his chair] INAPPROPRIATE!

Millie: [lays her hand on Moxxie's shoulder] Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!

Moxxie: I AM CALM!! [Moxxie starts whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzo]

Millie: [comforting Moxxie] Shh-shh-shh. There, there.

Blitzo: Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff [motions her hands to imply sexual activity] you do outside work hours, so don't... judge... me!

Moxxie: Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot, actually!

Millie: Mox, she's our boss!

Y/N:She has a good point

Moxxie: Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?

Blitzo: [leans towards Moxxie] It actually does.

Millie: [slams her hands against the table, looking at Loona with anger] No he's not, you bitch! [flips Loona the double bird]

Loona: [growls at Millie]

Blitzo: Do not talk to my receptionist that way! he's sensitive!

Loona: [snaps his jaws at Millie] Yes, I am!

Eddie: [offscreen] You guys are all fucking assholes.

[Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona look at Eddie, the boy Moxxie accidentally shot. Eddie is lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach.]

Y/N:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cougeyF-JNw

Blitzo: Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!

Moxxie: Ugh, this company is such a mess!

Blitzo: Alright, let's go back to talking about my outfit.

Loona: Nobody was talking about that!

Blitzo: Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?

Eddie: [points at Blitzo] It's been a literal hell [detaches the tubes of the heart monitor] having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But now I want that. I want death! [once again points at Blitzo] You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're suppose to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!

Moxxie: Hey, now! That's not very--

Eddie: If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit.

Eddie: I figured you for a slut, but I didn't know you needed dick THAT bad and You look familiar

Y/N:Me?

Eddie: Reminds me of a famous singer

Y/N:(Oh shit Verosika my sister,they must kill the child anytime soon)

Loona: What? What about me?

Eddie: Nothing. [crosses arms] I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person.

[Loona gives a wide-eyed glare, whines at Eddie with anger, and goes back to looking at his phone.]

Blitzo: Wow. Ah, y'know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit.

Moxxie: [whispering] Yeah, after all. He's kind of a piece of shit.

YN:Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all!

Blitzo: Who?

Y/N: [points at Eddie] Him.

Eddie: Me?

Y/N: Yup.

Blitzo: They wanted us to kill an actual child?

Loona: That's what they're sayin'.

Blitzo: ...Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God.

Blitzo draws a flintlock pistol and fires it at Eddie, killing him instantly.]

Eddie: OWWWW!

[Blood covers the screen, then reveals Blitzo and Moxxie kicking Eddie's corpse, Millie stabbing him, and Loona recording everything on his phone.]

Y/N:That was fun

Blitzo: [voiceover] Y'know, folks, with this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!

[Blitzo and Moxxie are shown wearing full hazard gear, dismembering Eddie's body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively. Blood splats on the screen again, then shows the group by a dumpster putting Eddie's body parts in a garbage bag.]

Blitzo: [voiceover] So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it, because it's Hell and no one fuckin' cares.

[As Blitzo does the voiceover, he hugs Moxxie, Millie, and Loona, the latter's phone flying out of her hands.]

Blitzo: Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child. And it's important that [wraps his tail lovingly around the group] we handle this going forward respectfully.

[The group all smile as the scene cuts to a newscast, showing Eddie's mother tearfully holding up a bad drawing of her son. A male news reporter holds a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on screen says "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar constantly reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!"]

Eddie's Mother: [sobbing] Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at-- [Eddie's bloody body bag suddenly falls into her arms] b-OHHH!

[Eddie's mother and the news reporter look up in shock as the camera follows their gaze. Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie are shown looking down on them through a portal.]

Blitzo: [smiles and waves] You're welcome!

[The trio disappear in the portal as it closes.]

Y/N: Really Blitzo?

Mrs. Mayberry: [narrating] I was a good person, before it all went down... I was good my entire life.

[The scene opens with a shot of a red school house. Birds fly in the background. "Learning is fun" is written on the side of the building. There are trees and a playground. A bell on the roof rings. Mrs. Mayberry opens white curtains, revealing two birds singing on a tree branch. Inside the classroom, Mrs. Mayberry writes "Good morning!" on the blackboard.]

Mrs. Mayberry: Good morniiiiiiiing!

[She twirls around and catches her piece of chalk.]

Mrs. Mayberry: I hope you all did your homework!

[Several smiling students nod in a dance at their desks. A brown-haired boy wearing a dunce cap spins on a stool and faces the wall.]

[The Teacher's Song begins.]

Class: ♫ We love to do our homework, and we love our teacher, too! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ Then when I throw out these fun questions, you should know just what to do! ♫

Class: ♫ Okay! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ Two plus six is… ♫

Class: ♫ Eight! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ And good behavior's… ♫

Class: ♫ Great! ♫

Mrs. Mayberry: ♫ And now it's that part of the class when we say the time of day and date! ♫

Blonde boy: ♫ It's nine in the morning… ♫

Girl 1: ♫ On January 8th! ♫

Girl 2: ♫ The sun is out smiling! ♫

Dunce boy: ♫ And it's your husband's birthday! ♫

[The class sings "la la la" while Mrs. Mayberry faces the board. She drags her piece of chalk in a line on the board, the piece almost gone. Her face is beaded with sweat and her eye twitches.]

Mrs. Mayberry: [faces the class] Oh my stars! Stop singing, children! Hush up now!

[The class falls silent.]

Mrs. Mayberry: I forgot it's my husband's birthday! I didn't get him anything special!

Girl 2: Maybe if we call him, we could do a happy birthday surprise!

[Scene cuts to a bedroom. "Wifey" appears with a ringing telephone icon on a computer screen. A sock lands on a corner of the computer followed by a pair of underwear. Giggles and an "oh yeah," and "not there, not there," come from the room. An unused condom hits the screen as Mrs. Mayberry's face appears from the other side. Squeaking is heard. Back in the classroom, her face turns red in anger and then shock as she stares in bewilderment. The children stand behind her with concerned, fearful looks.]

[Her face blank and in shadow, Mrs. Mayberry stands up and walks away.]

Girl 2: Wait! Mrs. Mayberry! [grabs hold of Mrs. Mayberry's arm] Remember what you taught us? Think before you act.

[Mrs. Mayberry grabs hold of the girl's neck and tosses her through the roof. She walks out the door.]

[The children scurry to the window to see Mrs. Mayberry drive through a white picket fence in her green car. The children head back to the computer to watch.]

Jarold: Okay. [Notices Mrs. Mayberry] Oh shit, sweetie. What are you doing here?

Mrs. Mayberry: Shut up, Jarold!

[A woman's screams and shots are heard.]

Mrs. Mayberry: You scream like a bitch!

[Dunce boy cowers in his seat as the sound of a chainsaw is heard. Blood splatters against the computer screen as the children stare in horror.]

Jarold: Oh god, what have you done? Sh-She had a family!

Mrs. Mayberry: [sobs] We could've had a family!

[Gunshots are heard and several children look away in disgust. Mrs. Mayberry wipes away the blood from the screen. She looks frazzled at her students.]

Mrs. Mayberry: Oh dear God, what have I done...? In front of you all! [sobs] I'm so sorry, my children! Don't forget to work on your timestables!

[Another gunshot is heard and the children faint on the floor one by one.]

Mrs. Mayberry: [narrating] You do everything right in life, play by all the rules... and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world!

[The camera lowers to show a pipe and fossils underground, followed by hanging stalactites. The camera stops at the outside of the I.M.P. building. A shot of the door reads "I.M.P. Headquarters" with "Meetins in progress" on a taped piece of paper. Blitzo is seen on his office chair looking bored as a shadow silhouette of Mrs. Mayberry paces the room.]

Mrs. Mayberry: After one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So that's why I'm here.

[Mrs. Mayberry turns around, revealing her demon form. Her face is partially shadowed by blinds. She holds a cigarette in her hand.]

Mrs. Mayberry: To get my revenge.

Blitzo: I mean, was she hotter?

Y/N:Screw you Blitzo!

Blitzo: I'm just saying, I had a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me, tits.

[Mrs. Mayberry seethes in anger, her aura glowing red.]

Blitzo: Anywayyyy, I don't think you quite understand how we're operating down here.

[Blitzo stands up and Mrs. Mayberry glares at her.]

Blitzo: See, we take revenge out on the living, and it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of death…

[Mrs. Mayberry clenches her fist. Her red aura glows again.]

Blitzo: …frankly are all probably down here in Hell with you. Boop!

[Blitzo boops her on the nose.]

Mrs. Mayberry: [clenches her claws] Not... all of them. That whore survived. Now they all call her a hero.

[The camera zooms up to a hospital bed with a bandaged blonde woman recovering. The room is filled with colorful bouquets of flowers. The woman's children and husband are by her bedside.]

Woman reporter: How does it feel to have survived such a crazy bitch?

Martha: I just hope that sick woman finally found peace.

Woman reporter: You are so brave. Here's two million dollars!

[A golden check slowly moves toward her.]

Martha: [innocently] Ohhhh! Thank you!

[Cameras flash as Martha smiles by her husband.]

[Martha stands with her husband Ralphie and their two children in front of a house by a lake, surrounded by a picket fence.]

Mrs. Mayberry [narrating]: Between the talk shows and the donation bullshit, she made so much goddamn cash... getting shot was the best thing to happen to her!

[Scene cuts to Martha standing at a podium with "VNN" on it. A news reporter holds out a microphone among several other microphones.]

Reporter: You're a hero!

[Martha is then seen jogging with a dark-skinned woman with blonde hair.]

Jogger: You're a hero, girl!

[In a grocery store, a boy wearing a beaver-skin cap talks with a cashier lady named Brook.]

Boy: My mama's a hero!

Brook: She is a hero!

[Ralphie and Martha have sex in a bedroom and he grunts in pleasure.]

Ralphie: [grunts] You're a hero!

[An old priest is seen with his hands folded in prayer by church doors. Martha stands next to him with her hands folded.]

Priest: You're a herooooo!

[Martha is then seen standing at the front of Mrs. Mayberry's old classroom. Another teacher introduces Martha to the class. "How to deal with trauma 101" is written on the board.]

Class: You're a hero!

[Martha smiles as she is given anal sex from another man.]

Man: [groans] You're a hero!

[Back in Hell, Mrs. Mayberry's purple fists create cracks on Blitzo's desk as she smashes down on it.]

Y/N: She's an slut,not a hero

Blitzo: [frightened] Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay, yeah, my thoughts exactly.

[Blitzo rapidly presses a red button from underneath his desk. A red light flashes by a label reading "Deranged client." The other labels read "More coffee," "Soiled my pants," "Horny client," "Client giving birth," "Ghost," and "Stolas."]

[The camera moves to Moxxie, who is holding a black and red crossbow in his hands. In front of him is a picture of a smiling family: a father, a mother, a baby and two children. His arms are shaking as the pointer hovers around the man's crotch area.]

Millie: Moxxie, stop shakin'! You're gonna shoot our only hellhound!

[Loona lies on a gray couch and holds up the family picture in one hand and his phone in the other. On the wall are drawings of Blitzo in a horse shape and a drawing of Robo Fizz with an arrow sticking out from it.]

Loona: [sarcastically] Wow. I feel soooo loved here.

Millie: Just take a deep breath, [inhales] and let it out!

Moxxie: But... it's a family! Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?

Millie: I mean, if that's what the client wants.

Moxxie: Maybe like a shitty dad. Or a mob family. [speaking with a stereotypical Italian accent] That's understandable. [speaks normally] But to eradicate an entire innocent—seemingly in this instance—upper middle class family bloodline?

[Loona looks at the picture as he thinks for a moment.]

Loona: Hey! You don't know they're innocent! [points to the boy] This kid probably sets dogs on fire, [points to the girl] maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online, [points to the father] and this guy… This guy definitely watches.

Millie: Exactly! Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here.

Moxxie: But—

Millie: Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox. 

[Moxxie aims her crossbow]

Moxxie: I just think it's a bit excessive, and we could be a bit more selective, is all.

[Blitzo barges into the room followed by Mrs. Mayberry.]

Blitzo: Guys! I want you to meet—

[A startled Moxxie accidentally fires her arrow and it ricochets around the room. Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms as the arrow hits a computer. The arrow then flies and creates a hole in the family picture that a stunned Loona is holding. The arrow hits the bottom of a tank with eels and the tank starts to wobble dangerously. The arrow flies toward Mrs. Mayberry, but Blitzo catches it with one hand.]

Blitzo: ...our newest client!

Y/N:What the Fuck Moxxie?!?

[The eel tank falls down. Glass and water spill on the floor. The eels fall out and bursts into electricity, setting the room on fire.]

Blitzo: Dammit, Moxxie! I just BOUGHT those eels!

[Outside the building, imp firefighters carry the eels away and head into a red fire truck. Mrs. Mayberry drives off in a yellow taxi cab as Blitzo waves goodbye.]

Blitzo: Byyyyye! And don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is freeeeeeee!

[Blitzo waves as the car drives away.]

Moxxie: When did we start implementing that deal?

[Blitzo turns with a glare to Moxxie.]

Blitzo: When you set fire to my office in front of a [yells] CLIENT, YOU FUCKIN' DIPSHIT!!

[Blitzo grabs Moxxie's face and pushes her away.]

Blitzo: Now someone PLEASE tell me that fancy book is still intact!

[A nearby billboard with Blitzo's face on it reads with misspellings: "Goat an asshole in the living worlds!? Come to I Am Pee!!??! Make sure you put this sign up on the rite side. Don't fuck this up. Also payment may take a couple of weeks because it cums in the mail. –Speech to text- -Blitzo-"]

[Loona types on his phone.]

Loona: You mean... our only ticket to the other side? [Pulls out a blue book from behind him] Yeah. Got it.

Blitzo: And that's why you're my favorite, Loonie. [In baby talk voice] You get a tweat now!

[Blitzo holds up a dog treat to him.]

Loona: Ew. Stop.

[Blitzo throws the treat into the air and catches it with her tongue, like a frog. She pulls it into her mouth and chews.]

Loona: You're so gross!

[Millie draws a pentagram with chalk on the wall. It glows red and creates a portal to the human world.]

Blitzo: Awwww, stop it. I get enough of that from my therapist.

[Loona rolls his eyes and leaves. Blitzo puts his hand on Moxxie's face, who struggles to walk to Millie.]

Blitzo: Now, let's go lick some ass!

Millie: The expression is "kick some ass"... Blitzo.

[Millie snaps her fingers at Blitzo as she walks through the portal.]

Y/N:Who cares?

[Blitzo walks through the portal.]

Moxxie: [sighs] Aww, ffffuck…

[Moxxie walks through the portal. All three imps stand in front of a small red house by the lake as the sun sets. Blitzo and Moxxie lean against the side of the house, rising from bushes. Blitzo stands up and peers into the window.]

Y/N: That's gotta be her. [chuckles darkly] This is too easy. Moxxie, do you want this one?

[Moxxie looks pleasantly surprised.]

Moxxie: Me??

Blitzo: Yeaaaah, this one's simple enough for you to handle.

[Moxxie stands up and peers through the window. Her faces falls as she looks at the family having dinner.]

Blitzo: It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital.

[Martha and Ralphie affectionately rub each other's noses. Martha holds a dinner platter in her hand. Moxxie hesitates at the window.]

Blitzo: You snooze, you lose, Mox!

[Martha's face is seen in a reflector, her doe eyes wide and blinking innocently.]

Blitzo: Aaaand I've got ya, bitch.

Moxxie: Wait... Are we actually killing a family?!

Blitzo: No, don't be a puss. We're just killing a mother.

[Blitzo positions her rifle.]

Blitzo: We're ruining a family!

[Rifle clicks.]

Moxxie: But… Ho- Hold on, hold on! Let's just think about it.

[Moxxie lifts up Blitzo's guns and  fires. The bullet hits a glass mirror inside the house. All four family members gasp in fear.]

Martha: What was that, Ralphie?

Ralphie: [Shakes his head] I don't know, Martha! But whatever it is…

[Grins evilly as he stands up holding a rifle in his hands.]

Ralphie: ...they're gonna be tomorrow night's dinner!

[Martha sets the platter on the table and pulls out another rifle. She drinks a glass of wine and smashes it onto the floor.]

Martha: Alright, kids! Guns out!

[The boy pulls out a small gun from his beaver-skin hat. The girl pulls out another rifle. All of them have evil grins of sharp teeth.]

Ralphie: Looks like we got some rabbits to catch, young'uns! [chuckles darkly]

[Cuts back to Blitzo and Moxxie.]

Blitzo: [fumes in anger] What the FUCK was that, Moxxie?!

[Moxxie breathes anxiously, eye twitching. She lets out a croak with her snake-like tongue out. She then falls to his knees, hands over her face.]

Moxxie: I'm sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy.

[Tears fall from Moxxie's eyes as she takes more breaths.]

Moxxie: I panicked!

[Blitzo facepalms.]

Blitzo: Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie?! From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leeching off your momma's tits!

[Blitzo leans in and pokes Moxxie's head.]

Blitzo: Get the FUCK over yourself, you baby dick prune!

[A blast shoots through the wall and hits Blitzo in the arm, black blood flying out.]

Blitzo: AAAAH! A new hole! SCATTER!

Blitzo and Millie flee the scene and Moxxie hides in the bushes. Another hole appears and part of the wall explodes. Ralphie and Martha grin and leap through the large hole with guns drawn. Moxxie peers out from the bushes and rapidly looks around. A child's hand grabs Moxxie by her tail and she yelps.]

[Ralphie fires at Millie who flips backwards and dives into the lake.]

Ralphie: Where'd you go, little critter?! Y'all can't hide long from me!

[Millie is seen with her head above the water under the dock. A knife is in her mouth. Millie breaks through the dock and lands on it, with her knife and a grin. Ralphie swings a glass bottle and Millie runs behind him out of the way. Millie jumps up in the air, knife in both hands. Ralphie swings his bottle upwards, knocking Millie in the head. She cries out and falls to the ground. She struggles to stand, but collapses onto the dock. Her eyes twitch. Ralphie smiles evilly down at her as the cloudy sky spirals red.]

[Moxxie opens his eyes and gasps with a squeak to find himself tied to a stitched up dead body in a chair. Moxxie's face falls in fear as he looks at the girl and boy. Both their eyes are red and devious sharp grins form on their faces.]

[Moxxie tries to defuse the situation.]

Y/N:Oh, you're approaching me?

Moxxie: Oh! Well, hello there, little ones. Aren't you cute?

[Both kids speak in low creepy tones, the boy finishing seconds after the girl, speaking instantly after Moxxie.]

Kids: It's nice to have a new critter to play with.

[Moxxie glances up in fear at a red light above him. The light reveals a human head high up and several limbs on plaques. The wooden walls are stained with red blood. Two plaques hold stitched up faces of skin. A larger plaque displays a dead man with long white hair, arms crossed, eyes and teeth bulging out. His upper chest is connected to the plaque. A picture frame made of bones reveals another face made of skin inside it. Human skin is tacked to the wall with "bless this mess" stitched onto it. Moxxie looks and sees a dead human body on a platter in front of her, an apple in the human's mouth. Organs are in a nearby bowl.]

Moxxie: Ohhhhh... crumbs.

[The scene cuts to four gunshots ringing out in the woods. Blitzo dashes through a bush. Martha's evil laughter follows as Blitzo runs through the forest. She slides down a hill and catches her breath at the bottom.]

Martha: [in a sing-song voice] I know you're hurtin', little devil!

[Blitzo takes deep breaths as he leans against a tree. Her eyes go wide as she covers her mouth. A silhouette of Martha is shown walking through the woods.]

Martha: [in a sing-song voice] I promise, that I can make that pain go real quick! Just come let Mama Martha put a bullet in your pretty little skull!

[Blitzo sighs in relief before his phone lets out a yelling ringtone. Blitzo pulls out the yellow cell phone and it flips through the air. The phone has "GFY" written on it with a laughing devil emoji on it.]

Blitzo: Dammit!

[Blitzo tries to grab hold of the phone eventually doing so, then he holds it to his ear.]

Blitzo: Stolas! This is a really bad time.

[Stolas is shown in his palace relaxing in a bathtub. There are candles with blue flames around the tub. The floor has glowing astrological symbols on it. The curtains look like the starry night sky. Glowing constellations float around the room. Stolas holds an old rotary phone to his ear, in the shape of sunflowers.]

Stolas: Mmmmm, when isn't it a bad time, Blitzy?

Blitzo [frustrated]: What is it?!

Stolas: I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation regarding my Grimoire?

[Blitzo's angry face appears in a bubble.]

Blitzo: What did you just call me?!

[Stolas pops the bubble with his finger.]

Stolas: My book, Blitzy. The book I was given to do my job? That I have allowed you to use to do yours?

[Blitzo looks scared as a rifle clicks. A bullet flies through the tree where Blitzo was moments before. A shadow of Martha with red eyes and mouth appears through the hole.]

Martha: I can HEAR you, darlin'!

Blitzo: Shhhit!

Stolas: Anywhoooo, I have been thinking. You know, I have been... permitting you to access the mortal realm less than... legally for quite some time now, but I do need it back to fulfill my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors?

[Stolas runs his finger on the edge of the tub. He makes walking motions with his fingers as they begin glow red.]

[Scene cuts back to Blitzo running through the woods. A bullet hits a tree and Blitzo duck behind another one.]

Stolas: Doesn't that sound… [speaks in a seductive voice] enticing?

Blitzo: You gotta stop using your fancy ass rich-people talk, okay? I'm trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my A!

[A bullet hits the tree that Blitzo is hiding behind.]

Stolas: Then let me keep it simple: Once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of…

[Stolas' eyes glow red and he lowers himself into the water with a lustful look.]

Stolas: …paaaaassionate fornication~

[Stolas leans slightly over the edge.]

Stolas: Aaaaaaaand you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hmm? Sound fair, my little Imp?

Blitzo: Fine! Whatever!

Stolas: [through the phone] Ohhh, Blitzo! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to feel your slimy c**k inside of my ****. To ***** the—

[Blitzo cringes and closes her eyes as Stolas rambles on about his lust for Blitzo.]

[Blitzo drops her phone as she is pinned to the tree by the butt of Martha's gun. Stolas continues talking on the phone through censored bleeps.]

Martha: Gotcha! So, you're a little devil, huh? Come to drag me and my kin to Hell? Well... NOT TODAY, SATAN!

[She presses the gun harder into Blitzo.]

Martha: Gonna send y'all back where ya came from!

[The scene shifts to Moxxie, who struggles to free himself from the rope, his hands tied behind his back. He looks up and gasps as he sees fires being lit from outside. A hangman's noose hangs from the wall.]

Moxxie: Millie!

[Both kids stare at Moxxie with wide evil grins. Moxxie grunts and struggles again. She notices the girl pull out a sharp knife. He looks at the blade and then glares with determination. The girl raises the knife but Moxxie pushes the chair backwards, knocking her to the ground. She frees himself with the knife. A silhouette of Moxxie appears as he breaks through the window, holding her gun. A "Live, Laugh, Love," sign hangs from inside the room. She races outside through the forest, where red symbols hang from tree branches. There are torches in rows and tents. A full moon appears in the sky. The camera pans down to reveal Millie and Blitzo tied to a stake decorated with spikes at the top. Ralphie laughs as he pours gasoline on the ground under their feet. Nearby, a grinning Martha holds a torch in her left hand.]

Blitzo: [sighs] I had that fucking shot. God dammit, Moxxie!

[Martha wears skull earrings, jeans and a low-cut shirt with polka dots. Her eyes are red and her hair is thick and blonde.]

Martha: Satan! We return your FILTHY creatures back to the pits of Hell!

[Martha rises her torch as Blitzo and Millie struggle to free themselves.]

Martha: May the root of evil remain honored as we continue thy WORK!

[Martha grunts as she tosses the torch to the ground, where it lands under Blitzo and Millie. Evil laughter follows. The flames rise up around Blitzo and Millie, but they remain unharmed.]

Blitzo: Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't really hurt us, but I mean, I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard.

[Millie and Blitzo smirk. Martha stares confused.]

Martha: Oh. Shit.

[Martha rolls her eyes.]

Martha: Well... I'll just shoot you in your smart-ass mouth!

[She grins and pulls out her rifle.]

Blitzo: That would be more effective.

Millie: [in anger] Blitzo!

[Martha laughs evilly again as she aims her rifle at the imps. Both imps close their eyes and flinch. Martha then yelps as a gunshot is heard. Martha's eye flies from her socket and she collapses to the ground]

Millie:Y/N!

[Moxxie runs over and unties the rope, freeing Blitzo and Millie.]

Blitzo: You're not gettin' your goddamn paycheck for this one, Mox!

[Blitzo falls down. Moxxie and Millie smile at each other and embrace. They both move their heads. Ralphie trips backwards on Martha's body before fleeing the scene.]

Blitzo [sarcastically]: Oh, yeah, thanks! I'm fiiiiiiine!

[Moxxie helps Blitzo up and supports her.]

Moxxie: I'm sorry,Madam. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise.

[Blitzo pulls Moxxie into a hug.]

Blitzo: Apology accepted. [speaks in a low voice] But if you ever pull a stunt like this agaaaaain, I will fuck you.

[Blitzo lets go as Moxxie looks fearfully. Millie raises her arms in a cheer.]

Blitzo: Alrighty! Job well done! Now let's get off.

[Blitzo pulls a gray and black horse toy from his chest. He puts it back and retrieves his cell phone.]

Moxxie: Ehhhh, yeah. Give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house.

Blitzo: Okay, fine, but hurry up.

[Blitzo speaks loudly into the phone.]

Blitzo: Loonaaaa! We're ready to come home, dear!

[Moxxie runs through the woods with a determined look on his face. Stolas has continued to rave over the phone about his plans for Blitzo.]

Stolas [over the phone]: ...**** use while you and I and **** and jelly sandwiches all night...!

[The next scene shows the two kids being lifted into their father's arms in the corner of the house. Moxxie points her rifle at them. The girl and boy look scared and the girl has a teddy bear with her.]

Moxxie: Don't move!

Ralphie [chuckles]: What are you gonna do little irl? Kill us?

Moxxie: I should! You people are monsters! But… you should have a chance at a life and a purpose. Look at your children. They have their whole future ahead of them! You are going to face your crimes justly!

[Moxxie picks up the remote.]

Moxxie: I will call your earthly authorities, and they will make sure you are dealt with fairly. I'm handling this... my way.

[Moxxie presses a button and the television turns on. Moxxie looks surprised and glances behind him.]

Moxxie: Oh, shit.

[Moxxie glances at the TV remote, the buttons looking like eyes and a face.]

Moxxie: Uh... do you, uh... Do you have a phone to summon 911?

Ralphie: [motions his thumb behind him] Yeah, it's in the kitchen.

Moxxie: Then... what is this for?

Ralphie: It's a universal remote. Got it for the kids.

[Ralphie hugs them as Moxxie smiles, eyes shining.]

Moxxie: Awwwww.

[The scene switches to Moxxie arriving at the portal with Blitzo and Moxxie at night.]

Blitzo: There he is. Have a good wank-off session, Moxxie?

Moxxie: Excuse me?

Blitzo: Look, I don't care where you cum in the living world. Just come to your job on time, alright?

[Blitzo pokes Moxxie several times for emphasis.]

Blitzo: See you at the office!

[Blitzo goes through the portal]

[Moxxie turns around and notices two police cars and a helicopter outside the house.]

Loudspeaker voice: We got em', boys!

[A helicopter fires a missile through the roof and the house explodes in an massive inferno. Something hits Moxxie in the head. She looks down to see what is left of the teddy bear head. She looks stunned as Blitzo grabs her neck and pulls her through the portal.]

[The final scene cuts to Mayberry and the imps celebrating their victory. A white banner reads "killed the bitch" in red letters. Loona and Mrs. Mayberry are holding pieces of cake on their plates. "We did it! :)" is written on the cake in light blue icing. Blitzo has her arm in a sling. Everyone is wearing party hats. Everyone laughs and cheers except Moxxie, who sits with a distressed look on her face.]

Mrs. Mayberry: Yaaaaaay!

Blitzo: Ohhhh, yeah!

Millie: [hugs Moxxie] We did it! Oh, Moxxie!

Blitzo: Well, here's to another mission accomplished! And Moxxie finally learned not to fuck up.

[Millie rubs Moxxie's head.]

Millie: And killin' people isn't that big of a deal if they try to kill you back!

Mrs. Mayberry: That's messed up. But I paid for it!

[Everyone except Moxxie laughs. Blitzo raises a fist.]

Blitzo: Yeah, fuck that family!

Mayberry:See you soon, handsome

Y/N:....

[The episode opens to a shot of the exterior of Stolas's mansion at night, before cutting to the master bedroom where Stolas and Stella are asleep. Octavia's frightened voice can be heard from offscreen.]

Octavia: [offscreen] Mummy! Daddyyyy!

[Stolas is roused from his sleep. He turns to Stella who has most of the blanket.]

Stolas: [sleepily] Mmph. Via's calling us, Stella.

Stella: [sleepily] You get up.

[Stolas sighs and gets out of bed, and enters Octavia's room, where she is hiding beneath her blankets.]

Stolas: Via? What troubles you, my owlet?

Octavia: [sobbing] Daddy! Daddy!

[Octavia climbs down from her bed and runs into her father's arms. Stolas hoists her up to comfort her.]

Octavia: [sobbing] I had a dream! A really bad dream!

Stolas: [yawns and wipe away Octavia’s tear] A nightmare.

Octavia: [sobbing] I was looking all over the palace, and... I couldn't find you anywhere! You weren't there!

Stolas: [pats Octavia on the back comfortingly] There there, Via, it's okay. You're okay.

[Stolas summons his Grimoire to him telekinetically as he walks Octavia back to bed.]

Stolas: When you're scared, and you don't know where I am, you must remember...

[Stolas's Grimoire floats over to him. He telekinetically flips it open.]

Stolas: No matter what happens to me, I will never be far away... from my special little star fire.

[Stolas begins singing a lullaby to little Octavia.]

♫ It always seems more quiet... in the dark ♫

[Stolas opens a portal above himself and Octavia. She looks up in awe of the beauty of space through the portal.]

Stolas: ♫ It always feels so stark... how silence grows under the moon ♫

[Stolas and Octavia float up through the portal and into the cosmos, landing on a barren moon.]

Stolas: ♫ Constellations gone so soon ♫

♫ I used to think that I was bold ♫

[Walking across the moon, Stolas leaves footprints in the dust.]

Stolas: ♫ I used to think love would be fun ♫

♫ Now all my stories have been told, except for one... ♫

[Stolas looks down at Octavia, and she looks back with her large, curious eyes. Her gaze shifts to a pink glow to her side.]

Stolas: ♫ As the stars start to align ♫

♫ I hope you take it as a sign that you'll be okay ♫

[A meteor begins its descent towards a giant, pink colored star.]

Stolas: ♫ Everything will be okay ♫

[The meteor makes contact with the pink star, and begins to sink beneath the molten surface.]

Stolas: ♫ And if the Seven Rings collapse ♫

[Multiple planetary bodies begin gravitating toward the pink star, including the moon that Stolas and Octavia currently reside on, which eventually shatters into pieces as the star's gravity pulls on it.]

Stolas: ♫ Although the day could be my last, you will be okay ♫

[Octavia yawns and falls asleep contentedly against her father's chest.]

Stolas: ♫ When I'm gone you'll be okay... ♫

[Distant planetary bodies fly through the cosmos, pulled in by the pink star's incredible gravitational pull. They disintegrate upon impact and causes the star to explode in a powerful supernova just as the portal closes behind Stolasm causing him to sing louder.]

Stolas: ♫ And when Creation goes to die ♫

♫ You can find me in the sky ♫

♫ Upon the last day ♫

[Stolas drapes the sleeping Octavia in a blanket.]

Stolas: ♫ And you will be okay... ♫

[His lullaby finished, Stolas leaves as his daughter settles to sleep, content. Cut to several years later, where a teenage Octavia is jolted awake by smashing objects and her parents screaming at each other, far less content.]

Stella: [offscreen] I can't believe you slept with an Imp, IN OUR FUCKING BED!!

[Octavia, annoyed at being disturbed, gives a long groan.]

Stolas: [offscreen] It was unexpected! I didn't have time to go to a motel!

Stella: [offscreen] A motel?! Like a fucking PLEBIAN?!

[Octavia grabs her phone and puts in earbuds, playing "My World is Burning Down Around Me" to tune out the screaming as she strides down the halls of the Goetia estate, stepping over the smashed remains of a plant thrown in her path. In the kitchen, Stella continues screaming at Stolas.]

Stella: You want to fuck this one, TOO?!

[Stella grabs an imp servant and violently tosses him in Stolas' direction.]

Stolas: No! Of course not!

Stella: You are a goddamn embarrassment! I'm not spending another moment looking at your pathetic, IMP-SUCKING FACE!!

[Stella storms out of the room, shouting angrily the entire time, and smashing more potted plants. Stolas sighs in exhausted exasperation before he notices his daughter has entered the kitchen.]

Stolas: Good mooorning, Octavia! Did you sleep well, my owlet?

Octavia: Was that a serious question?

[Stolas opens the refrigerator to retrieve a massive chunk of zebra meat.]

Stolas: Mm-hmm... What's that you're listening to?

Octavia: This song is called "My World is Burning Down Around Me". It's by Fuck You Dad.

[Stolas looks down, thinking the name of the band his daughter mentioned is a hurtful remark.]

Octavia: It's a band.

Stolas: [bemusedly] Ohhhh! How charming...

[Stolas grabs the zebra meat and feeds it to a massive potted plant situated in a small alcove off the kitchen as he pets it. Sated, it falls dormant, closing its three eyes.]

Octavia: So, you two done screaming for the day? [sips her coffee]

Stolas: Umm...

[Stella lets out another scream of anger and an object is heard shattering in the distance.]

Stolas: You know what I haven't done in a long, loooong time? I haven't taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land?

Octavia: I'm not five anymore.

Stolas: You always were so happy when I took you to Loo Loo Land! What do you say we go there again, have a day, just the two of us?

Octavia: I'd... rather kill myself.

Stolas: There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security.

[Stolas picks up a phone carried on a platter by his now bruised and battered servant.]

Octavia: Security for a theme park?

Stolas: We are rich, and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies!

[Octavia grabs a box of cereal on the table and begins shoveling handfuls into her mouth.]

Octavia: [under her breath] Our money, maybe.

Stolas: Speak for yourself, Princess. Now... I'm calling the only woman who can f*** me!

Octavia: [drops a handful of cereal, disgusted] What...?

Stolas: [hurriedly backpedaling] Who can protect me! Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know.

[Octavia groans and pulls her hat down over her eyes.]

[Cut to I.M.P Headquarters, where Blitzo is busy doing very important work in het office, involving crude representations of Millie and Moxxie made out of office supplies that he puppets around and speaks with. Between them is a framed photo of Blitzo with a robe pulled down off her shoulders seductively and a flower between her teeth. The text reads "#1 Bitch" with "BOSS" written in red over it.]

Blitzo: [impersonating Millie] "Oh, Blitzo! You're such a good boss!" [impersonating Moxxie] "Yeah, I really want you, sir." [Impersonating Millie] "Me too!" [As hirself] Let's three-way!

[Blitzo lowers her "employees" below her desk to crotch level, looking momentarily pleasured before being interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.]

Blitzo: [angrily] WHAT?!

Stolas: [lustfully] Why, hello, my big-pussy Blitzy.

[Both Blitzo and Octavia spit out their coffee in sheer surprise. Blitzo slams her "BOSS BITCH" mug onto her desk.]

Blitzo: What--

Octavia: the--

Blitzo: FUCK--

Octavia: Dad?!

Stolas: Language, everyone! [into the phone] I have a special request~

Blitzo: Aw... G- Look, I just had a chemical peel, so you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass.

Stolas: It's for my daughter.

Blitzo: Ah. Well, make sure she washes it.

Stolas: [taken aback] No! No, no-no-no. I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little Imps would accompany us!

Blitzo: We're assassins, not bodyguards, 'kay? Don't invite us to shit unless someone's gonna die.

Stolas: I'll pay you~

Blitzo: Pay me what?

Stolas: Moneyyyy~

Blitzo: Done!

[Blitzo hangs up and accidentally slams her phone down on the desk hard enough to smash it to pieces. After a brief annoyed glance at it, she pulls out a megaphone.]

Blitzo: M n' M, get in here! We're goin' to Loo Loo Land!

[Moxxie opens the door to respond.]

Moxxie: Loo Loo Land?

[Millie excitedly smashes her head straight through the office door's glass.]

Millie: [excitedly] Loo Loo Land?!

Blitzo: Loo Loo Land!

Loona: [offscreen] SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

[Cut to Loo-Loo Land. A van with an I.M.P decal spray painted on the side pulls into the rather empty parking lot. Moxxie exits the van and opens the side door. A very cramped Stolas extracts himself excitedly. His daughter exits the van far less excitedly. Stolas dons an apple-themed hat and gestures toward the park gate. Octavia groans and pulls her hat low over her face.]

Blitzo: Now, remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright?

Octavia: [disgustedly] Hey... Dad... Do we have to--?

Blitzo: Okay, yeah, hold on right there, sweetie. [turns to Stolas] If you try fuckin' my little ass in that park, I swear to--

Stolas: You are so cute when you are serious!

Octavia: I'm literally gonna be sick.

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! I knew today would be a lot! What do you need?

[Moxie fishes around in a fanny pack and throws out several pill bottles as he lists off his inventory.]

Moxxie: Antacids? Ibuprofen?

[Moxxie shows Octavia several hypodermic needles of a glowing, acid green substance.]

Moxxie: Morphine?

Octavia: That was figurative, old man.

Moxxie: Oh, right.

Millie:Y/N,wanna come?

Y/N:Sure

Moxxie chuckles sheepishly as she discards the needles into a nearby baby carriage, where a baby imp happily reaches out to play with its dangerous new "toys."]

Moxxie: [under her breath] But she said it was literal.

Millie: [excitedly] Wooooow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot!

[A large letter falls off the sign of a nearby ride, crushing the teenaged imp underneath.]

Millie: It hasn't changed a bit. Ohhh! LOOK! It's Big Woobly!

[Millie gestures toward a hideously malformed animatronic dinosaur, which opens its mouth and lets out a terrifying, demonic shriek.]

Moxxie: That is... deeply upsetting.

Millie: Oh, come on! It's fun! You've never been here?

Moxxie: No. Theme parks always disturbed me. Especially the mascots.

[The park's mascot, Loo Loo appears out of nowhere behind Moxxie.]

Loo Loo: Well, hey there!

Moxxie: [jumps back in terror] AAAAAH!!

Loo Loo: I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, just try and sue us!

Stolas: [gasps] Look! Via! It's Loo Loo!

Octavia: I have a question.

Loo Loo: Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!

Octavia: Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?

Loo Loo: [beat] No?

Octavia: This place reeks of insecure corporate shame.

[Stolas chuckles in slight embarrassment, as he leads Octavia away.]

Stolas: Why don't we go check out the rides?

Loo Loo: That chick's creepy, huh?

Blitzo: Eh, wait till her dad tries to diddle your holes.

Loo Loo: [to Millie and Moxxie] What's that mean?

Moxxie: Don't talk to me! I know you're a pervert under there!

[Moxxie leaves, leading Millie off with him. Loo Loo hangs his body dejectedly.]

Loo Loo: Yeah...

[Moxxie and Millie head down a pathway, and Moxxie, sweating profusely, stops to catch her composure.]

Moxxie: You really like this place, huh?

Millie: I love this place! My parents would bring me and my siblings here when they could swing it. Money-wise.

[Moxxie looks over to see a worker wheeling a wheelbarrow piled to the brim with money into a nearby giftshop. The two approach the window, where novelty cups and stuffed apples are for sale. The cups appear to cost at least 29 souls per.]

Moxxie: Yeaaaah. The prices do seem rather criminal. I mean, that much for a novelty cup that you use one time?

Millie: 'Cause it's Loo Loo Land!

[Blitzo walks up, having loaded up on merch, including a novelty cup, as well as a hat with attached can holders and straws.]

Blitzo: [bumps Moxxie with cup] Listen to your hoe, Mox.

[Blitzo takes a swig from his novelty cup.]

Blitzo: How 'bout I take the first watch while you two have a little [winks] fun?

Millie: OOOOOH! We gotta do my favorite ride!

Moxxie: Oh yeah? Wh- which one?

[Cut to a shot of a lone imp riding a roller coaster named "The Lawsuit" that suddenly plunges off a sheer 90-degree drop at incredible speed while also on fire and with its rider hanging on for dear life. The coaster violently plunges into a tunnel in the ground.]

Moxxie: [terrified] Oh, crumbs!

[Cut to Moxxie vomiting into a trash can after having left the ride. A vomit-covered family walks by in the background, glaring disapprovingly at Moxxie. A massive dragon-like creature from the nearby petting zoo looms overhead, also glaring at Moxxie. In another part of the park, Stolas and Octavia walk along the path, as Blitzo takes up positions all around them with her rifle, on the lookout for any danger. A group of imps creep up behind the booths, ropes, knives, and pitchforks at the ready. They quickly scatter as Blitzo looks in their direction.]

Stolas: You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy.

Blitzo: Save it, bitch. I'm working.

Octavia: You both need to get a room.

Blitzo: Hey, I am not a day-hooker!

[A woman walking nearby with her baby glares at Blitzo before continuing on in a huff.]

Blitzo: What? I just said I'm not one, prude! [Flips her off.]

Stolas: [gasps] Oh, look, Via!

[Stolas points excitedly at the circus tent. A demon mother is struggling to pull her crying son into the tent.]

Stolas: You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!

Octavia: [panicked] Oh no...

[Cut to a flashback to Octavia as a young girl, as she is pushed against the stage by an excited crowd of imp children, as Robo Fizz sparks and cackles maniacally leering over Octavia, who soon breaks into tears. A younger Blitzo is seen in the background tending to a food cart, dressed and painted as a clown, scowling.]

Y/N:(Oh Crap, it's my ex)

Blitzo & Octavia: I hate that fucking clown.

[Pan to Stolas, who has been captured and hoisted aloft by the crew of imps from earlier. Stolas' arms are bound and his head is covered by a cloth sack, and the imps are pointing various weapons at him. One has stolen Stolas' wallet.]

Stolas: [unconcerned] Oh, Blitzy! I need my bodyguard, please!

[One imp jumps, to try and skewer Stolas with a pitchfork. Blitzo quickly brings her rifle to bear, shooting the imp in the torso, splattering Stolas's head with blood. The other imps quickly scatter. Octavia enters the big top and finds a seat. Blitzo carries Stolas in, head still covered in the blood-soaked sack, sets him down, and walks off to take position. Stolas makes no move to remove the sack, until Octavia annoyedly rips it off her father's head.]

Robo Fizz: [glitching and sparking] Hey-hey-hey-hey-heyyyy, Implings! It's me, the Robotic Fizzarolli! Shipped from Big Ozzie's factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo Loo Land, spelled with 'O's, to avoid lawsuits! H-H-H-H-H-Hit it!

[Stage lights turn on and point at Robo Fizz as he begins to dance and sing a song of the same name as the park.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫

[The curtains open to reveal Robo Fizz's band, FizzaRolli 'n Friends, composed of various hideously decrepit animatronics, including Big Woobly on guitar.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Everybody sing along with the Loo Loo band ♫

[Robo Fizz goes around pointing and gesturing at various demons in the audience. Stolas looks excited when Robo Fizz gets to him, but this is short-lived as Blitzo pops up and points her rifle at Robo Fizz, who dashes back to the stage.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man loves Loo Loo Laaaaaand! ♫

[Platforms in the stage rise up in time with the music.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫

♫ Everything is beautiful at Loo Loo Land ♫

♫ Ugly children holdin' hands in Loo Loo Laaaaand! ♫

[Robo Fizz grabs various Imp children out of the audience and wraps them up in a big hug, before jumping up and tossing them away. Most of the children slam into the bleachers, while one soars behind them.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ Everybody's friendly, ♫

[Robo Fizz hugs Big Woobly so hard that Big Woobly's neck breaks a bit more than it already had been.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ And nobody is mean ♫

[Robo Fizz dashes over to the two-headed, banjo-playing bear animatronic and slaps it in the back. The animatronic then squirts a stream of oil from its bigger head at the face of an Imp in the bleachers attempting to drown out the song with music from her phone.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ No copyright infringement's ever seeeeeeen ♫

[Robo Fizz dumps a gasoline canister onto a large stack of cease-and-desist papers, lights a match, and throws the match and the canister at the stack, setting the whole thing ablaze.]

Robo Fizz: ♫ I have a dream... ♫

Backup Singer: ♫ (She has a dream) ♫

Robo Fizz: ♫ I'm here to tell... ♫

Backup Singer: ♫ (She's here to tell) ♫

Robo Fizz: ♫ About a magical, fantastic place called Loo Loo Laaaaand! ♫

[Octavia is sitting and absorbing the musical with disgusted boredom. Outside, Moxxie and Millie walk along a row of game booths, when they are addressed by one of the vendors. Millie gleefully yanks Moxxie over towards the booth.]

Carnie Imp: Hello, hello! Step right up and win a thing!

Millie: [gasps excitedly] Oh, look Moxxie! A THING!

[The "thing" in question is some sort of purple stuffed penguin creature with Imp horns, wearing pink overalls. The stuffed animal is labeled with a tag that says "THING?"]

Y/N:I can handle this

[Cut back to the Fizzarolli show. Stolas is gleefully clapping to the music, while Octavia has thrown her head back in torment, banging her fist on the seat next to her.]

Robo Fizz & Backup Singer: ♫ --body sing along with the Loo Loo band! Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man loves Loo Loo Laaaaaaand! ♫

[The show ends with a small pyrotechnic display as Robo Fizz cackles maniacally. The bear animatronic faceplants onto the stage and falls to pieces. Stolas claps and cheers even harder.]

Stolas: Ah hohohoho ho ho ho ho ho, how delightful!

[Behind Stolas, an imp armed with a kris dagger rises from beneath the seats ready to stab Stolas, but the top of his head is quickly blown apart by a shot from Blitzo, who has taken up a position in the gallery behind the back row of seats while Imps scream in absolute fear and run away.]

Stolas: Oh! My, what aim you have, Blitzy.

Octavia: [furious] Ugh! I can't do this anymore!

Stolas: [concerned] Wait- E-... Octavia!

[Octavia storms off, with Stolas following behind as Blitzo cycles her rifle, and prepares to give chase after his charges.]

Robo Fizz: Mua ha ha ha ha hoho-oh! Is that Blitzo [pronounced as spelled] my sensors spot up the-e-e-ere? I bet the kiddies are still running away from you, huh? [laughs]

Blitzo: The 'O' is silent now!

Robo Fizz: A-A-Awwwww, just like your audience always was when you to-told your lazy jokes here! [laughs]

[Blitzo removes her visors and throws them on the ground as he continues his argument with Robo Fizz.]

Blitzo: Bitch, I make more money killin' people than you do being a cheap-ass robo ripoff of an overrated sellout JESTER!

Robo Fizz: [glitching] Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not though, people lo-o-ove me! Does anybody love you... [appears creepy with demonic voice] BLITZO?

Blitzo: No. But I'm really good with guns now. Dance, bitch!

[Blitzo slams a new magazine into her rifle, switches it to full-auto and opens up on Robo Fizz, who cartwheels out of the way of the incoming rounds. Robo Fizz rapidly spins like a wheel rolling up the stair to where Blitzo is. She coils himself around Blitzo like a snake, before using his own momentum to launch Blitzo through the top of the tent.]

Outside, Wally Wackford rolls a cart of lit torches in by the tent.]

Wally: Torches, I say, I say! Get your inconvenient torches here!

[Blitzo lands on the cart, scattering the torches everywhere, which light the big top on fire.]

Wally: Owww! I say, OWWWW!

[The green fire very rapidly spreads to all corners of the park. Burning and melting animatronics flee the tent as Robo Fizz cackles and spins his head with demonic glee at the destruction. 

Blitzo and Robo Fizz continue to do battle against each other as the fires spread. Blitzo is thrown up into the air by Robo Fizz and comes down through the roof of the shooting gallery, crushing the carnie Imp under him.]

Carnie Imp: OWWWW! Oof! Auuugh!

Moxxie: [surprised] Blitzo?

Blitzo: [dazed] Ohhh, hey, guys! You should probably go, uh, make sure Stolas is okay. I've... got some unfinished business to take care of.

[Blitzo draws her flintlock pistol, cocks it, and fires at the now burning Robo Fizz. The impact of the bullet spins Robo Fizz's head around, but when she spins her head back, see is revealed to be unharmed by the shot, having caught the bullet in her teeth. She then spits the bullet out.]

Blitzo: Oh, what a mouth!

[Blitzo immediately grimaces when he realizes what he just said. Robo Fizz coils herself up into her rolling form again, charging straight at Blitzo)

Y/N:Blitzo!

Robo Fizz:Y/N?

Y/N: Oh shit!!!

Robo Fizz:My Y/N,you came back

Moxxie:You know each other?

Y/N:My Ex

All:What?!?

[Elsewhere, Stolas is still running after his daughter.]

Stolas: Octavia?

Octavia: [off-screen] Just leave me alone!

Stolas: Octavia!

[Octavia runs into a building called the "Fun House." Inside, Stolas is confronted with a a surreal room of eyes, tubes, spikes, mirrors, and disembodied hands. He goes further into the room, looking around for where his daughter could have gone. A shadow appears behind Stolas, as a random Imp jumps upon his back.]

Stolas: [annoyed] Umm, I think I'm supposed to be bodyguarded right now!

[The Imp covers Stolas' mouth with his shirt sleeve, but is suddenly shot in the head and falls to the ground. Moxxie and Millie appear in the entryway, Millie having just shot the Imp with a pistol.]

Stolas: [wipes Imp blood off of sleeve] Ugh, that's better. Where is Blitzy? she's my knight in shining armor, not you littler ones.

Millie: She's, uhhhh... busy.

Moxxie: Being a fool.

Stolas: What kind of fool?

Moxxie: The "everything is now on fire" kind.

[Disinterested, Stolas leaves the imps, effortlessly dodging between two swinging pendulums, and heads down a tunnel into an adjoining room. There, he sees Octavia riding in circles in apple-themed rail cars, crying.]

Stolas: Octavia...

[Stolas discards the Loo Loo Land hat, which in response to his emotional state has gone from a goofy grin to a sad frown.]

Stolas: I take it you are... not having fun.

Octavia: [crying] I didn't even want to come here!

Stolas: I'm sorry, sweetie. I... I thought you loved it here.

Octavia: [sniffs] When I was a kid and my parents didn't hate each other... and my dad didn't flirt with some... weird red dickhead the entire time.

Stolas: I'm sorry, Via. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's... a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened.

Octavia: [crying] I just want to go home... but home doesn't even feel like home anymore... You ruined it.

Stolas: You need to understand... your mother and I... I just-... I felt-... She's always been... I haven't been- Ha-... We weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words.

Octavia: [crying] Are you gonna run off with her? And leave me behind? Go away where... I can't find you?

Stolas: [emphatically] What? No! No, no, never. I'd never do that. Never. I think it's time to leave this place. You were right. You are too old for it, anyway.

[Stolas carries Octavia out of the Fun House, as an imp grins maniacally in the space above the drop-ceiling, looking down on Stolas. The imp drops down and flicks open a switchblade. Stolas immediately turns around, eyes glowing brightly. The Imp immediately turns to stone and is knocked over by a pendulum. Outside, the park has been reduced to pandemonium as dusk falls. Millie attempts to shoot at Robo Fizz, who rolls around wildly. The robot is caught by the draconic creature from before, and swallowed whole, as Moxxie rides on its back. Stolas and Octavia leave the park gates.]

Stolas: So, what would you like to do now?

Octavia: Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult? They sell weird taxidermy there.

Stolas: [reluctantly] Hmmm, okayyyyy...

Octavia: [chuckles] Thanks, dad. You're okay sometimes.

Stolas: Thank you, Via. Thank you.

[A massive explosion rocks the park, sending the employees of I.M.P. hurtling through the air, smoking and screaming. All three land in front of Stolas and Octavia.]

Moxxie: Way to ruin another good thing, Madam

Blitzo: Worth it! That slutty toy clown had. It. Comin'!

Y/N:You took the words out of my mouth

[Moxxie and Blitzo fall unconscious. A stray kitten grabs Millie by the hair and drags her offscreen.]

Y/N: That's adorable